Thanks for entering the giveaway to win a copy of Joanna Hyatt's "The Sex Talk: A Survival Guide for Parents".
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Congrats Kristen and Marisue!! Please email me at Hyatt.Janelle@gmail.com with your mailing address.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Choose your own adventure - The Sex Talk part #3 {Guest Post + Giveaway)
We all have those cousins, you know, the one you avoid eye contact with at family reunions...
I'm so happy to introduce my cousin, The Sexpert: Joanna Hyatt as a guest blogger today..
No. Shes not the one cousin that you avoid eye contact with...
In the realm of sex education, I'd be the cousin that stands on their front porch in their underwear, legs splayed, cigarette dangling, holding a rifle, shooting at anything that moves and yelling "Git off mah porch!" and Joanna would be the polished cousin from NYC (she's really from Washington) in Jimmy Choos, a $200 haircut and raised eyebrows. Ha!
I've been writing, from a parents point of view, over the last couple of weeks about talking to your kids about S-E-X (Part #1 and Part #2) and I was thrilled when Joanna agreed to come over and share some of her knowledge with you and I.
Joanna is a speaker, writer and educator who travels all over North America and speaks to thousands of parents, teens, pastors and educators at youth conferences, high school health classes, sororities, pastor groups and many other varied events about healthy relationships and sexual behavior. She released a new book called "The Sex Talk: A Survival Guide for Parents" that is funny, informative, gripping and honest. Note: Don't read her book and drink coffee at the same time - It'll burn coming out of your nostrils from laughing. True story.
So, without further ado, I'll bring out the big guns and let Joanna be the "sexpert".
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Choose Your Own Adventure: The Sex Talk
Growing up, we had a series of Encyclopedia Brown books, where at a crucial part in the case, I would get to decide whether Encyclopedia would solve the case, get in trouble, or hit a dead end.
Being the perfectionist that I am, I would usually read all the options before picking the one where he solved the case. I didn’t want to pick the ‘wrong’ choice, even if I knew I could choose a different ending, and no one would be the worse off.
How many of us wish we could do the same when it comes to parenting?
(I have both hands raised, as well as my feet)
When it comes to talking about sex with their kids, many parents treat it like I did with the books, They want to know before they talk what exactly they should say to have the ‘right’ outcome.
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of working with teens:
I don’t know.
Isn’t that great?! If I, who speak to thousands, don’t know the answer that will work every time, then that means there isn’t a ‘right’ answer. There are lots of different ways to communicate your hearts and hopes for your kids in the areas of sex, dating, and relationships. No one word or phrase is going to make it or break it for them.
With that in mind, here are three things to encourage you and help you as you choose your answers. And if you have to back track and go a different direction, that’s alright.
1. You get more than one chance
Gone are the days of the agonizing “Talk,” where your parents locked you in a moving car (read: road trip) and tried to breathlessly tell you everything you never wanted to know about relationships, dating, and sex.
The result: not very effective, as you may know from personal experience.
Instead of one talk, try lots of little talks spread out over a few years. You get the opportunity to approach these topics from multiple aspects and actually make an influence in your child’s decisions.
The great news: if you say something with less than Shakespearean eloquence, you get a second chance. And a third, and a fourth. It’s a conversation that should begin before your child hits puberty and ends right about the time you drop them off at the altar.
2. Your kids are already thinking about sex.
Especially if they’ve already hit puberty or they run with friends who are a bit more advanced. If it helps you to sleep better at night believing your 13 year old daughter has no idea what a condom is, fine. But while you’re sleeping, she’s getting quite the education from her friends and the internet. Our kids are growing up in a world where fifth graders have boyfriends and girlfriends and pregnant teens get front cover celebrity status. So unless you live in a hut at the base of the Himalayas (and even then), your kids have at least a cursory understanding of sex and relationships.
Rather than horrify, this should actually encourage you to start talking. You don’t have to worry that if you start talking about sex, they’ll suddenly start thinking about sex and then want sex! By engaging them on these topics, you are communicating to your child that not only will you not be surprised when they come with questions, but you actually welcome it.
If you decide not to say anything, they will go somewhere else for the answers. And what will those sources tell them?
3. Your voice matters
Yes, you may be only one voice in a sea of thousands inundating your child’s world from the moment they wake up until their sweaty little heads hits the pillow. And yes, you may not be as flashy as Ke$ha or as attention-grabbing as Miley Cyrus. But out of the mouth of babes we know that you, mom or dad, are still beating out the competition when it comes to influencing your son or daughter’s decisions about sex.
Eight out of ten teens say that it would be easier to avoid early sexual activity and teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open and honest conversations about these topics with their parents.
And over half of young adolescents say parents are the greatest influence when it comes to their decisions about sex, not friends. That number only drops to a little below half when the teens start driving.
You matter. And however imperfectly you may talk about relationships and sex, however much you might stumble or feel awkward, you are still making a difference. Every time you have a conversation with your pre-teen or teen, you are planting another seed that may grow into the self-confidence and wisdom they need to make the best decisions for a healthy future.
So get out there and start the conversation with your kids today. Talking, however imperfectly, is better than waiting to get it perfect and never saying anything to your teens or preteens.
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Joanna Hyatt
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MY BLOG: www.joannahyatt.com
SPEAKING: www.joannahyatt.com/speaking-
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/JoannaHyatt
FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/joannahyatt1
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Thanks Joanna! I'm happy to have you on "mah porch" sharing information that EVERY parent needs.
Joanna has given me 2 copies of her book, "The Sex Talk: A Survival Guide For Parents" to giveaway to YOU my readers!!! Woot Woot!
Look into my eyes - You know you need this book - its practical AND funny. Seriously, I'm sold on parenting books that give me information practical enough to immediately apply to my life. Trust me, if you have kids, you need all the resources you can get on this topic.
2 lucky people will win a signed copy of Joanna's book and its super to easy to win!!
Or
Do ONE or more of the following: (each item is worth 2 entries)
Do ONE or more of the following: (each item is worth 2 entries)
Share this blog post on your FB wall - can be done daily
Become a Follower of my blog (See sidebar)
Follow Joanna on FB HERE
Follow Joanna on Twitter @joannahyatt
(Be sure to leave a comment back here with your email address letting me know what you did IF you don't use Rafflecopter!)
Giveaway ends Saturday night. WINNERS will be announced on Sunday and the books will be mailed out on next week.
OH! If you can't wait for the giveaway and you're ready to get some moral support to have "THE TALK" use this code SexTalk10 to get 10% off of the cost of her book. Purchase HERE
Good Luck!
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